


Never Out of Style

by daesies



Category: Degrassi, Degrassi the Next Generation
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Romance, Slow Build, Snippets
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-23 08:30:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16155386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daesies/pseuds/daesies
Summary: Clare Edwards expected many things to go the way she wanted them to. Eli Goldsworthy was the most important one. [A collection of short stories]





	Never Out of Style

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Degrassi! (minus the monstrosity that was season 13, oof) 
> 
> After rewatching a lot of episodes that had to deal with Clare and Eli's relationship I realized I wanted to write scenes that we could have potentially gotten but never got. I'll be writing these as drabbles or longer one-shots, depending on what episodes I want to focus on and all that. Some will be in the middle of their romantic relationship and others will be set during their more fragile moments. *Rating will depend on each chapter. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy them <3

"When we first dropped our bags on apartment floors  
Took our broken hearts, put them in a drawer  
Everybody here was someone else before  
And you can want who you want."  
\- Taylor Swift, _Welcome to New York_.

 

New York was everything Clare expected. The buildings, the food, the people, the lights that never seemed to turn off – these were things she expected the most when she flew over for an impromptu University of Columbia interview. She kept falling in love with the street vendors and the music she could spot that came from the parks near 5th Avenue and around the East Village. The Asian restaurants reminded her of home, where downtown Toronto was filled with some of the most exquisite Asian restaurants you could think of. There was this familiar unfamiliarity to Manhattan, and she loved it. She felt at home while not being at home and she could picture herself living here for college and maybe even for the rest of her life.  
  
Eli Goldsworthy, however, was the one thing and person Clare Edwards didn’t expect to be a part of her Manhattan visit.  

She had been on edge this whole time, wondering if the Big Apple was as big as people thought it was. After so long of being attached at the hip, she could never really let go of him - she didn't want to. They were attached by this force greater than any power she seemed to possess and greater than anything else she believed in. Call it fate, call it soul mates, but that night Clare realized that Manhattan was small but her world seemed to be smaller.

Despite it being a Thursday night on a work day, the streets were busy and Clare guessed they'd always be busy. It was a buzz she didn't mind, one that made her feel the most alive since her encounter with Drew. Maybe, she's thought, since before that. Since the night Eli surprised her for their bungee jumping date. The moment they walked through the threshold of Clare's front door they had fallen into a series of desperate kisses and frantic touching and had their clothes off in record time. He had his way with her as lovingly as the last time they had slept together. But for Clare it was an act of remorse, out of spite for feeling out of love.   
  
The injury on her forehead pulses along with the ringing in her ears as Eli maneuvers them through the sea of people trying to get by. She’s silent behind him, still feeling horrible that he was so kind to her when he doesn't have to be. He was so good to her, even though she broke up with him and hurt him so much. She had been disappointed once upon a time; however, the disappointment in his face after she told him that Drew had been there for her when he hadn’t been there was far more heart wrenching. Her own naïve feelings towards their failed long-distance relationship couldn't quite compare to the way tears fell down his cheeks as he tried to find ways to make it all up to her. Clare manages to keep up with Eli’s fast pace and he checks over his shoulder to make sure she was okay. Every time he does he has that familiar smile of his that she knows too well, far better than anyone else in his life.  
  
It sends her heart into a series of somersaults. Ones that, in this case, meant guilt.

Eli gives Clare a quick tour guide of most of Lower Manhattan. He tells her about Washington Square Park and its beautiful Arch and tells her what streets she can take to get to Soho, Chinatown, and Little Italy the quickest. His words are filled with so much love for the city and paints this magical, beautiful image of the island that she'd never thought she could conjure up. The way he speaks about his new home makes Clare's heart melt in earnest. She knew how happy he had been his last year of high school about coming to Manhattan, but she'd never really seen him in his element and keeps hearing that nagging regret in the back of her mind. He was so in love with Manhattan and she had tried to get him away from here to be with her. All she wanted, wished for, was to be with him at the expense of dragging him back to their reality. He was so, so happy here and in a way, she's just as happy as he is she let him go.

Finally, they reach his dorm building and after letting the night guard know she was a visitor and explaining to the lady that Clare had nowhere to stay for the night, they were finally in, waiting for the elevator to go up to the fifth floor. Clare stole glances at Eli every time she felt he was stealing glances at her and her fingers fiddled with one another. The  _ding!_ sound of the elevator made her blink and shake her head absentmindedly and he let her hop on the elevator first. Her eyes avoided his and he has this shy look on his face as he stood next to her, his eyes looking up and down her side profile.  
  
“I hope you liked it.”  
  
Clare looks up at him, brows raised in question.  “What?”  
  
“The city at night,”  he muses, and motions for her to walk out of the elevator first, to which she did the same and they burst out into a fit of laughter.  He took her hint and walked out first, leading them back to his dorm room.

"I loved it... it was colorful," Clare speaks up, and suddenly it dawns upon her that Eli had a roommate and she wasn't ready to have to introduce herself to him. Did Eli speak poorly of her after their break up? Did his roommate hate her for what she did to Eli? She shakes her head and Eli glances over at her once more for the night, fishing his key card from his back pocket. "Your roommate, do you think he's back?"  
  
“J.J.?”  Eli questions, then shrugs nonchalantly.  “Probably not, he’s probably with his girlfriend or something.”

Calm washes over Clare and she smiles a bit to herself when he finally gets the door to open up. The first thing Eli does is land face-first on top of his bed, seemingly exhausted from their random urban adventure. But if the sigh that leaves him was any indication, he was also content with tonight. Clare takes a moment to quickly discard of her now humid jeans and folds them up, leaving them over her bag. She wiggles her legs a bit, enjoying the freedom her legs have in Eli's boxers before making her way back to Eli's twin sized bed. He perks up slightly, as if on cue, and rolls over onto his back, side against the wall to give Clare room on the bed.  
  
She fixes her pillow and slips next to him, head-to-toe like they did earlier, hands under her chest. As if on cue, they both sigh. Unbeknownst to one another, they both smile as well.  
  
“I really, really loved the walk,” Clare confesses again, a bit clearer this time. Eli stays quiet, but a part of her can feel the smile that creeps up to his features. “I get why you’re so in love with Manhattan – I get why you want to be here…” she has to cut herself back after that, not wanting any bitter thoughts to slip pass her lips.  

Eli hums, in agreement.  “It’s amazing, and it’s almost even more amazing during the day when you can see everything in perfect detail.  Maybe if you get into Columbia we can explore more of the island together,” he thinks out loud and doesn’t even realize what he had just said until Clare chastises him softly.  He sits up on the bed when he hears the bed springs creaking and he mimics the pose Clare finds herself in: arms around her bent legs, blue eyes on his own, piercing green ones.  “Sorry I – didn’t mean it like that.”  
  
Her brows furrow, and a part of her wishes – no, wants him to tell her what she expects to hear from him. The other part of her doesn’t want that and wants him not to.  If they stayed apart, if they kept their distance, she wouldn’t have the chance to ruin him or them, ever again. Maybe he thinks the same way.  
  
She pries him anyway.  “Like what?”  
  
“You know…  like a something. ”  
  
Clare brings her lower lip into her mouth with her teeth, gnawing away at the soft muscle and the guilt is finally catching up to her. It didn’t matter whether or not he thought it was okay. It wasn’t, and it never will be okay the way she broke him and he broke her. “Eli…  I am so –”  
  
“Edwards,” he warns, eyes serious, and he can feel his heart sink into his stomach, remembering all the times he’s disappointed her in the past year. “Please, I meant it earlier, don’t apologize. If someone deserves it, it's me for being an asshole. ”  
  
“But you didn’t deserve to be broken up with over voice mail – hell, you didn’t deserve finding out…  that way,” she whispers, eyes downcast while her fingers drum over the skin of her knee. The memory replays in her head, her lips on Drew’s and then Eli’s voice of disbelief. “I was such a bitch to you. I expected too much from you. To think you could just fly over to Toronto whenever I wanted to see you. To think it was okay that I didn’t put any effort to come over here and visit you instead. These things were so selfish of me.”

"I hurt you first," he says, softer this time. "I always knew you were my soulmate and that you were the love of my life and I broke your trust. I should have talked to you about how hard everything had been with school. Juggling classes and learning how to deal with my issues alone was hard and you were the one I should have turned to. Instead, I lost myself in the arms of someone else. I was an asshole and I have no excuse so please, don't apologize. You don't deserve a guy that cheats on you when you're..." _Everything I've ever wanted_ he wants to say, but instead stays quiet. He lost her and he can accept that, although a part of him still aches to bring her into his arms and hold her the way he wanted to.  
  
“I’m still so sorry I broke you.”  
  
“Me too.”  
  
Their eyes finally find each other again and for a moment Clare swears she can see a visible spark between them, one she thought they had long lost.   In reality, it had just diminished and lost its passion, but it never stopped. It’ll never stop.  
  
She wants to reach out and hold his hands that were folded over his lap, but she’s afraid of it meaning more than she could offer him.  As if he read her mind, however, his calloused hand inches closer to her own that rested over her knee and she doesn’t push his silent comfort away. To his surprise and delight, she squeezed his hand in return and smiled softly at him, in gratitude.  
  
She didn’t expect to see him, but she was so happy she did.


End file.
